The Most Liberating Secret for Confidence in Public Speaking

It is NOT about you.

Sure, you’re smart. You want to show confidence as someone who knows their stuff. So your mind works on overdrive when you give your presentation, telling you to “Get it right! Don’t screw up!” Not surprisingly, these thoughts create a swirling anxiety that turns your stomach inside out. You want to hurl…

…but it is NOT about you.

Sure, if you perform well on this presentation, and others after it, you could catch the eye of your managers and be considered for that sweet, sweet promotion. The stakes are high, so you scrutinize every word you say and notice every fleeting mistake (which you beat yourself up for). But you’re missing the point, because…

…it is NOT about you.

What is it about? Public speaking is ENTIRELY ABOUT THE IDEA YOU’RE SPEAKING ON. That’s it. Actually, you are completely irrelevant. You are nothing more than a vessel through which the news is traveling. Want proof? Let’s say you have a presentation coming up… what would happen if you quit right now? Someone else would do the presentation, that’s what. Because it’s the presentation that needs to happen. The flow of information is the crucial component. It isn’t about you!

THIS is why you hate public speaking so much! You drain your confidence when you keep thinking about YOURSELF! You worry your vocabulary isn’t big enough, your accent is too thick, your filler words are too abundant, you’re not funny enough. With all those “shortcomings”, who wouldn’t hate an experience that is perceived to judge your worth? I’m happy to tell you, you’ve been perceiving wrong. No one cares about your vocabulary. No one is paying attention to your accent. Why? Because…

…it’s about the IDEA.

Instead of focusing your attention on being a shiny, perfect person (this will cause anxiety), focus your attention on the idea you’re conveying. Imagine the idea, which is the purpose of your speech, is an object that you can see but the audience can not. It exists in space between you and the audience in the room. Your MOST IMPORTANT job is to describe the idea well enough that they have a reasonably clear vision of the idea in their heads. They DON’T need a perfect image, just a good enough understanding of the idea so they can make an informed decision on it. That’s it. Use any combination of stuttered words in any accent to get to that goal, and you will have achieved your mission.

More Idea = More Confidence

Focusing your attention on the idea has additional benefits. Now that your mind is free from crippling self-judgement, you suddenly become:

• More authentically yourself
• More descriptive
• Have more natural gestures
• More connected to your audience
• Which means, you will have more confidence

Would it help you to convey your idea by improving your other public speaking skills? Of course. But if you’re like most people, you’ve been swapping the #1 priority of public speaking, conveying the idea, with your own desire to be accepted. So relax; it’s not about you. And THANK GOD for that! 

Can you relate to this? Disagree? Leave comments below!