So, uh… filler words are, like, the fastest way to um….destroy your credibility while public speaking. Almost everyone uses them too, even one of the greatest speakers of our generation: Barack Obama. But when used too often, it makes you seem lacking in confidence. Filler words can make the expert seem like a amateur. It behooves you to eliminate them, not only while you are speaking in public, but anytime you speak. However, trying doing so can drive you crazy by monitoring every word that comes out of your mouth. Luckily, there is a better way.
What are filler words?
Filler words are words (or sounds) made to fill dead space while speaking. The most common fillers words are: um, uh, like, you know and so. Some people have their own quirky filler words that have become habit in their speech. The rule of thumb is: if it’s habitually used when you are at a loss for words, it’s a filler word. And it’s cramping your style.
What NOT to do
Most public speaking coaches would tell you to eliminate filler words by monitoring them; catching yourself in the moment before you say it. I’ve taught this as well and I’ve noticed a strong side-effect to this method. When you monitor every word you say, you become very self-conscious about your speech. Every filler word is then accompanied with a ping of self-criticism which takes you out of your flow. Luckily, there is a way of reducing your fillers words while also keeping your sanity.
The secret is in PAUSING
Pausing and filler words are two sides to the same coin. One side avoids the silence, the other side embraces it. Filler words = bad. Pausing = good. Focus on doing something good instead of preventing yourself from doing something bad.
Benefits of pausing
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- Use less filler words. When you use filler words, you are trying to fill dead space in your speech because you mistakenly believe that dead space means you’re dumb. The reality, in fact, is exactly the opposite. Because pausing helps you…
- Wield more authority. A person who is confident and feels entitled to speak will not rush when speaking. They happily take up time and space.
- It calms you down. People often speak quickly when nervous, which prevents them from deep, calm breathing. Pausing allows for a more full, deep breath. This tells the body that you’re safe.
- Choose better words. Not all of us can speak with the fluent Shakespearean vocabulary of Russell Brand. When you need to search for a word, just pause and search for it! Everyone else will think you’re being thoughtful because you want to communicate with clarity.
- Creates emphasis. When you pause, it creates emphasis on the words you speak. The tension created during silence draws the listeners in, eager to hear what comes next. This also plays into…
How pausing helps the listener:
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- Ingest your content. This is yuge. Have you ever heard someone speaking quickly for a long period of time? Its exhausting to listen to! The brain has trouble processing information we hear that quickly. When you pause, it allows the listener to reflect on and integrate what you’ve said.
- Have an emotional experience. Said something powerful? Emotions are sure to follow. Let that emotion linger in the listener. People remember how they feel more than what they heard.
It is hard to understate how powerful and helpful pauses are. So don’t focus on eliminating filler words. Instead, focus on adding pauses. Use them liberally. Practice using them while speaking to friends. It may feel weird to do at first because you’re used to speaking without breaks. The more you do it, however, the more seriously everyone will take you.
Listen to all of these benefits on display with Neil Degrasse Tyson in his famous response to the question “What is the most astounding fact you know?”